I don’t think it is possible to fully stop caring what others think of you. It really isn’t a bad thing because that’s human nature. If someone says you are acting inappropriately then you should probably reconsider what you are doing and analyze the situation. It is completely normal to adapt our behaviors to certain situations. Nevertheless, most likely you are so caught up with how people perceive you that you may forget the person that you truly are. In terms of your general lifestyle and well-being, you need to understand that YOU are the most important person in your life. You can only entirely please one person in this world and that person is yourself. The reason that we care what other people think is because we look at ourselves based on the judgments of others and not how we judge ourselves.
Put it this way…how many times do you see the “girl of your dreams” walking the street? Of course, you probably just let her walk away without talking to her or seeing her ever again. Why? Because you are so preoccupied with how she might perceive you. Some random guy going up to a girl and starting a conversation. Weird, right? This is exactly the problem most people face: we care about what other people think. Now imagine a life in which you go up to every pretty girl you see and talk to her. Even though you may face rejection, I bet that you will make at least one new friend or even a couple. How much better would you feel if the girl actually took an interest in you and you exchanged numbers? Let’s look at the science behind it…Who has a better chance of getting a girl’s number: A guy who asks 50 girls for their number or zero girls for their number? Exactly. Obviously, this is much harder than it seems because the fear of rejection can be overwhelming.
Nevertheless, think about that the next time you want to meet someone new. If you truly care what others think to the point where you need to be someone your not then you should change your life. This may be the most serious problem in your life. It’s preventing you from meeting your dream girl or doing the things you want to do. We are afraid of disapproval. We are afraid to be ourselves. Nevertheless, in order to truly be happy you need to be stop worrying what other people think.
Here are five steps to help you be more true to yourself:
1) Appreciate those closest to you: Do you have a group of friends that you have known since you were a child? What about those who live with you in college? Always know that these are the friends that have seen you at your worst, like the times when you have a bad hair day, completely overreact about something, or just have an attitude that others may find inappropriate. These friends know you more than anyone and like you for who you are and you should always appreciate them for it.
2) Stop analyzing people: You may try to figure out why a girl doesn’t have an attraction to you back or why a new friend doesn’t call you to hang out. Trying to figure people out will drive you crazy! You do not know what goes on in other people’s heads and what their true lives are like as much as you may think that you do. Stop analyzing them and move on. It is always good to express your feelings to someone but if you overdo it then you will only be hurting yourself.
3) Different is good: The less that you care what other people think the more they may like you. People who care what other people think are more “normal” and try to assimilate into the social spectrum. These “normal” people have nothing that sets them apart. People like individuality and a unique personality. The more unique that you are the more likely someone may take a notice to you. Everybody is different in their own special way but at times are unlikely to express themselves in fear of how they are perceived.
4) Be yourself: If you enjoy doing things that other people may find “weird” then keep doing them. If you still like playing gameboy as a daily routine or still collect beanie babies then continue doing what interests you regardless how people may see fit. This is your life. Never let anyone tell you how to act differently. You only get one chance to live life so how can you let someone tell you what you should enjoy?
5) Appreciate what you have: No matter how bad you think your life is, always appreciate what you have. God forbid, you may find out you have cancer tomorrow. A family member could be hurt in a car accident. Life should never be taken for granted. No matter how bad your day is just think that there are so many other people that are not as fortunate as you.
We are so desperate for the approval of others that we limit ourselves in being the best that we can be. Just like alcoholics and drug addicts that need that quick fix, we strive for a constant fix of approval. You need to make that conscious decision to stop caring what other people think and love yourself for who you truly are.