What a Man Can Apply to Relationships Based on His Relationship with His Dog
Yeah, I know, Cesar Milan is not a dating guru. He's the famous dog whisperer. Well, I ran into Cesar's website, and being the dating columnist, of course I found a correlation between how he trains his dog owners and how his advice could actually help show men how to behave as better "pack leaders" in their relationships (and even more so when they have a family of their own). Hear me out.
Am I promoting you treat your woman like your bitch? Ahhh, NO. But there is a certain appeal in a man who's somewhat of a "pack leader." Why? Because deep down every woman is looking for a man to lead. Even something as simple as a guy being the one to pursue a woman instead of the other way around. Often times leading simply means that the man is an "initiator."
With the feminist movement empowering women in the workforce and liberating women sexually, women like to think that they have the option of pursuing men if they want to... but, given the choice of pursuing a man and being pursued, 10 times out of 10, women will choose the option of being pursued. Men have unknowingly sabotaged their own relationships by allowing women to take the lead in relationships. But this is not the natural order of things, and we all rebel eventually. So, what does this leadership look like? It looks a lot like how a "pack leader" behaves.
Here are some traits that define a great "pack leader," which also applies to humans!
(Taken from Cesar Milan, paraphrased to suit males and females in relationships)
Great Men Have:
• Calm-assertive energy – This is the energy you project to show you are the calm and assertive pack leader. Note: assertive does not mean angry or aggressive. Calm-assertive means always compassionate, but quietly in control.
• A pack leader doesn't project emotional or nervous energy, so neither should you.
Which in Turn Causes Women to Have:
• Calm-submissive energy – In nature, this is the appropriate energy for a “follower” and thus the ideal energy for a female to project. Signs of calm-submissive energy include a nearly instinctual response to trust the “pack leader” and a respect his decisions.
Great Men Have:
• Mastered the art of taking her out– It is extremely important for women to go out. Don't become a lazy bum who only watches football on the couch now that you've secured an exclusive relationship with this woman. That's not how you got her. That's not how you are going to keep her. She needs to get out of the house and have an excuse to get dressed up every now and then. This fosters her femininity and allows her to shine.
Great Men Are Comfortable:
• Making Decisions -
- Women need to know that their pack leader is clearly aware that he makes the final decisions and has the last say regarding what is best for them, meaning the woman should understand that you understand you are the leader, therefore you are not one to passively sit around. You make decisions even when they are hard. You make these decisions keeping her and her best interest and safety in mind, but are the leader and have the last say in decisions none-the-less
– Anger, aggression, or abuse toward the woman will not establish you as pack leader; an angry, aggressive leader is not in control. Calm-assertive energy and daily, consistent leadership behavior will make her want to follow your lead.
Men, Keep These In Mind:
• Issues – If a woman doesn’t trust her man to be a strong, stable pack leader, she becomes unclear about her correct role within the pack. A woman that is confused about who is in charge is actually concerned about the ability of the pack to survive, so she attempts to fill in the missing leadership elements, often erratically. This can cause aggression, anxiety, fear, obsessions, or phobias – what I call “issues.”
• Balance – A balanced woman is in the state Mother Nature wants her to be in – as a calm-submissive pack follower, who is fulfilled being balanced physically; psychologically, and emotionally with affection from the pack leader.
A relationship can become better when a woman is able to return to a balanced state of calm submission. This can occur only with a calm, assertive, stable, and consistent pack lead.
Cute outfits, fancy food, and a millionaire’s mansion will not make for a truly happy woman. Regularly taking her out and not taking her for granted, being a strong stable pack leader, and being generous with affection will result in a woman that’s calm and balanced.
• When I am called in on a job, many men assume it’s their woman that is the problem. I try to help people understand that their own behavior has a powerful affect on their partners, and I offer them suggestions for “retraining” themselves to be calm-assertive pack leaders.
Indeed, it is an honorable yet weighty responsibility to be a woman's partner. Take your job as “pack leader seriously!”
Midori is the girl behind www.datingadvicefromagirl.com. Think old fashioned Carrie Bradshaw dishing out mother approved dating advice. She currently resides in Seattle.
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