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Home Health & Lifestyle Featured Q&A How Can I Show Her I Am Not Being The Jealous Boyfriend?

How Can I Show Her I Am Not Being The Jealous Boyfriend?

How Can I Show Her I Am Not Being The Jealous Boyfriend?


Reader’s Question:

How do I show a girl I love her? She thinks I’m really possessive. How can I show her I’m not being the jealous boyfriend?


Girl’s Answer:

The way to not be possessive is to show through your words and actions that you trust her completely. Don't ask her where she's going, what she's doing, who she'll be with if your motivation is because you lack trust. Your intention will come through.  Let her always volunteer that information. When you demonstrate you trust someone, they are more likely (if they love you) going to follow suite and be trustworthy. When you give people breathing space, they will want to be with you more. Don't volunteer advice unless she asks for it. Let her make her own decisions and let her know, "I trust you completely. Do what's right for you. Just know I'm here for you if you need my advice or my opinion."
I know how a non-possessive man acts because that's all I've ever dated. Never fish for reasons to be jealous. Trust and give her the benefit of the doubt, ALWAYS. Then if she does something wrong, you’ll know you’ll come out the innocent, loving party.
Basically never ask her something out of your fear that she will do something wrong. Only ask her things if you are TRULY concerned about her well-being or just want to get to know her. Let LOVE dominate your words and your actions not a FEAR of losing her or a fear of her being unfaithful.
Also, you can just straight up ask her: What do I do or say that makes me seem possessive? Then correct that action.
How do you prove you love someone through words and actions? You live unselfishly. You put her needs above your own. You sacrifice; you compromise. You make sure when you're with her that you give her focused attention. Like you're all there when you're there. Your mind is not somewhere else. There is no other place you want to be. You are generous with compliments and appreciation. You care more about being kind than being right. You let her be free to be herself and live her life. You don't try to change her. When she talks, you really listen. Women need to feel like they’re heard, like their opinions matter to you.  
Basically treat her everyday like it's the last day you'll have her in your life, because really we only have the present to love the people we are with. We never know when a person's time is up. Love her with no inhibitions. Love her with wreck less abandon. Don't leave anything unsaid. Try to connect with her with everything you have: body, soul, mind, spirit, emotions. Have the kind of love where you don't know where you end and she begins, she begins and you end. Share your deepest self with her, the one that is afraid to come out. Share your dreams, your fears, your insecurities, your goals. Let her into a place where you don't let anyone else in, where you yourself are afraid to go sometimes for fear of what you'll find. You'll give love, and you'll get intimacy.

Midori is the girl behind Think old fashioned Carrie Bradshaw dishing out mother approved dating advice. She currently resides in Seattle.

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