My fiancé’s buddy who shall remain anonymous (we’ll call him Jack) has a word to say to help women out there when meeting men for the first time after they’ve chatted online. He has dated hundreds of women online. Some have really left a lasting impression on him in a bad way. It’s so awesome to get the inside scoop into what turns men off when they first meet women, so women can get their act together! Amen! 

She gets offended when you’re trying to compliment her
 

Maybe it’s because these women have dated a whole string of jerks who wouldn’t know the difference between a compliment and blatant criticism, but it’s hard to have a good first date with someone who gets offended easily, especially when they assume what you’re saying is negative when you mean it positively. Jack dated this girl and said, “Wow, you’re really tall!” He meant it as a compliment, all the while thinking, wow this is the first time I’m dating someone I actually, literally see eye-to-eye with. Cool! What happens? She storms off in a huff, saying, “So what?! I hate it when people tell me this!” It’s like gosh, why do you have to assume he meant ill? He was actually pleasantly surprised! Object lesson? If there are two ways to interpret what a man says, assume the positive. Especially if he is dating you! Otherwise, you just seem bitter and strange, like you don’t even like what he’s saying.

She ate with her mouth opened
 

This one actually shocked me but is worth mentioning since it happens to men on many dates. There’s just nothing more unattractive than seeing your date masticate their food with gaping mouth. Goes to show that our modern men still like a little bit of proper etiquette. Some people just aren’t taught to chew with their mouth closed! I mean, I know I wasn’t! In the fourth grade, someone across the table put me in my place. We sat around a round table and some girl blurted out, “Can’t you eat with your mouth closed?!” I was highly embarrassed but looking back, highly appreciative. Rather 4th grade than 1st date. Yikes. Some people don’t even know they are doing it. That makes sense since you don’t sit and eat in front of a mirror. So pay attention the next time you eat. Or ask a close friend if you eat with your mouth open!

She wore 2lbs of makeup
 

As much as I love makeup, love putting it on myself, love putting it on other people, I know the point of makeup in the eyes of straight men, is to  look like you’re not wearing any at all. I asked Jack what kind of makeup he was talking about and he said, “Her foundation! It was cakey and just looked so unnatural. It was distracting.” I guess better uneven skin tone than even cakey foundation? Also men don’t want to see all these bright colors. It’s like you’re drawing attention to the makeup, and not to yourself. They want to see who you are, not your artwork. Like my brother says, “When a woman wears makeup and it’s really obvious, I get freaked out. What is she hiding behind there? I’m scared to see what she looks like when it all comes off!” Women, he wants to know he’ll like what he sees the morning after. He wants that rolling out of bed beautiful look. If you have problem areas, that’s fine. Just dab on lightly. Keep it minimal. Think enhance, not mask.

She was too physical
 

Here’s the tricky thing. If you’re really affectionate on a first date, if you’re really physical, you might think he’ll be into that. I mean guys like affection right? Guys want to know you are comfortable with your sexuality right? Yes they do. But, here’s the caveat. The sooner you give into these things, being physical, he will not only appreciate you less (it is human nature to appreciate that which we have to wait for), it will also be a red flag for the guy you are dating. Let me explain what Jack thought on his first date with Miss Frisky. Maybe in her mind, she’s thinking, “He must love all this kissing. I mean look at me, I’m one hot babe!” What is he really thinking? Literally Jack was thinking, “OH MY GOD. Herpes? Syphilis? Do they make a cream for this? Does she have something?” Why does he fear this? Because although you may well be the hot babe, he is also wondering why you, the hot babe are coming on so strongly to him, average Joe. I mean how many other guys does she do this with? His guestimate? Enough for you to catch something you will surely pass onto him. Let’s just be honest. We are not in the age of innocence. Men, as well as women are worried about these things. So word of advice? First date? Keep your paws off him. Give it some time.  There are more ways to show your interest than being physical on the first date.

Midori is the girl behind www.datingadvicefromagirl.com. Think old fashioned Carrie Bradshaw dishing out mother approved dating advice. She currently resides in Seattle.